By Kenneth Kozi Arrington
I am sharing with you an experience I had recently. This story is about what happened when I observed something that made me uncomfortable. I was fearful and concerned. I made an assessment and based on that assessment I made judgments. I came to conclusions and I decided what I thought should be done. Was that the right thing to do?
Now, there was nothing wrong with me making an observation. There was nothing wrong with me being fearful and concerned. There was nothing wrong with me making an assessment, coming to a conclusion and making a judgement call. What was wrong was what I did next. I took it upon myself to share my insecurities and my judgements in an unkind and panicked way with my mentor and influencer.
They listened. They, my mentor, then gently reminded me that I was not a medical professional and that my feelings and the judgements that I made did not necessarily mean that what I was thinking and feeling was true for anyone other than myself. It was not my place to be so critical especially when I was on the outside looking in.
I thought about what was said and quickly realized the mistake I made. I was ashamed and embarrassed that I had allowed myself be so affected by someone else’s situation that it made me want to distance myself from the person in distress.
Making judgements based on my observations was not an ideal thing to have happen. Our PEERS motto says: Love More – Judge Less. I forgot all about that. It is a part of being human that we make observations, assessments, come to conclusions and make judgements daily. It is what happens, how we process it and what we do next that is important. Love More – Judge Less